The
wedding was an arranged marriage that the families negotiated, and the price
being cows. In the Dinka tribe the
man pays the woman’s family and she gets a higher price based on 3 things 1)
height (the taller the better), 2) family lineage and 3) education (jury is
still out on if this affects the price positively or negatively). A cow goes for about 1000 pounds (or
$350). My co-worker paid 85 cows
for his wife to be, approx 85,000 pounds or over $24,000. Considering that 90% of the population
makes less than $1 a day, this is quite a lot of money.
Anyway
after traveling with an armed police escort we arrive in Yei and quickly dress
for the wedding. But the wedding
is held up because they are still negotiating…one of the sticking points being
the large bull that needs to be sacrificed at the wedding. SO after another 2500 pounds and
the process of finding the right bull, the wedding is able to finally commence.
It
was a pretty amazing experience, there was tons of chanting and a procession,
we were ushered into a large tent that was covered in embroidered flowers where
women (which took the bride and her friends one month to make) wiped our faces
with clothes and then our feet.
Outside the tent they sacrificed the bull to the sounds of chanting and
drumming.
First they carefully skinned the bull then slowly removed each organ whole, they even cut a small incision in one of the 3 or 4 stomachs and then pulled out all the grass.
First they carefully skinned the bull then slowly removed each organ whole, they even cut a small incision in one of the 3 or 4 stomachs and then pulled out all the grass.
The
bride eventually came with 50 women in attendance and wearing a surprisingly
traditional white wedding gown (with sleeves) and a veil. Her hands and feet had dark henna and
she and her maids had sparkles on their faces. The mood became serious and she looked quite somber. The two hadn’t really seen each other
much and they definitely both seemed nervous. In addition she is quite young and will have to leave her family.
The wedding went on for 3 hours with lots of speeches, chanting and singing. The men sat on one side, the women on the other. Eventually they asked the kawajas (foreigners) to stand up and speak. We took turns said a few words and then everyone sang a song about ‘welcoming people from the land where people speak Hallo!’. It was late into the night and eventually the ceremony was over.
Everyone
trickled back to their tukuls, the men went to their homes including the grooms
and the bride to hers where people stay up all night but don’t eat.
Early
the next morning we were brought to the grooms family where we met all the
elders (the senior negotiating team for the bride price) who turned out to be
mostly women as the men had died in the war. There we hung out with the bride and her cousins talking about
marriage and traditions. They
asked me many questions about marriage, the U.S. whether we have vegetables and
meat, had I gone to school, and they all assumed because I was not yet ‘grown’ (read
tall) therefor I must be 15. When I explained
I wasn’t married because I hadn’t found anyone, I got many offers of 19 yr old
sons and brothers, even an offer to be the 2nd wife of a girl's
father.
Eventually
another cow was slaughtered and then the women drummed and danced, which I was
asked to take part in.
We
ended up eating a meal of millet porridge with warm milk and then made the long
trek back to Juba.
